2023: New Year, New Me

New Year’s is without a doubt my favorite holiday. Everyone gathered together to welcome in the new year. It’s filled with celebration and reflection, and it’s an all around good time. I don’t think I’ve ever actually been sad on New Year’s. If the year before was a bad one, then good riddance! And if the year before was a good one, then let more good come! Here’s to hoping 2023 brings more good than ever!

Lots of my intentions for 2022 didn’t work out.

I created my resolutions with a specific arc of my year in mind–a view that had me moving to a new city and in a job. And neither of those things are my reality. Have you seen that TikTok trend of January me talking to December me? Yeah, I think if January me of 2022 met December me of 2022, she’d probably hate her. I can’t blame her. 2022 was nothing like I expected, and so some of my resolutions were unresolved.

But that doesn’t mean we throw out the work of resolutions completely!

Last year I accidently started something that I found fruitful, and so I will share it with you. For each month of the year, I wrote down a prayer prompt. I wanted to get better at praying for specific things consistently. If I’m being honest, I didn’t pray over a good chunk of them (it was a rough year), but I did pay attention to what happened in my life, and I am surprised and amazed at what happened, even though all I did was pay attention.

So you could do that. Choose a focus for each month and work on that.

At the end of 2021, I realized I struggled with not feeling my feelings enough, and though I didn’t do much except pray, last year was an incredibly emotional year for me. I guess what I’m saying is write it down and pray on it. You’d be amazed to see what happens.

Of course, my word for 2022 was uncertainty. I had a hunch in 2021 that that was my word and that’s exactly what I lived all 12 months of the year. It has been very humbling. I know a lot of people choose their word of the year, but I kind of let my word choose me. Basically, being open to what keeps recurring and asking myself what resistance I have towards it.

Lore Wilbert (go read her book Curious Faith) says that we should move towards our resistance, not away from it. That doesn’t mean do something you don’t feel is right. But it does mean examining why something feels uncomfortable or ways we may be running away from a situation. In 2023, I want to focus on reducing friction in my life. Making it easier to do the small daily things that make life better.

My actual resolutions for 2023:

I do hereby resolve to go on more walks. Walks are so good for my health and getting me outdoors and honestly, making me less like a couch potato.

I do hereby resolve to have a bedtime routine. I always thought my issue was that my morning routine was in flux, but in reality, my night determines my morning. Thus, I must get a routine beyond writing in my journal. I want to read a few pages, pray Compline, and then journal. 

I do hereby resolve to get my driver’s license. I no longer have anxiety when I get inside the car. Which is a major win. But now it’s a matter of properly turning, parking, and eventually going on the highway.

I do hereby resolve to read widely. I know I said this last year, and I didn’t do it. I did read memoirs, which is not my usual genre, but I want to read books that are uncomfortable for me to read. As much as I read to be entertained, I also want to read to be challenged. 

I do hereby resolve to pray more. This year I’ve been doing the Morning prayer out of the Book of Common Prayer, and it’s been lovely. It reminds me to pray for those I so easily forget. It gives me words when I have none, and it’s a good way to pray AND give myself time for a Bible Study. 

Word of the Year

My word for the year (you knew this was coming!) is very uncomfortable for me. But here’s me choosing to lean into the resistance even though it’s uncomfortable.

My word of the year is hidden.

Did I embrace this word at first? Nope. Did it follow me around for a while? Yep. There was a whole chapter on it in Still by Lauren Winner (which could have been on my top 10 list if I read it earlier). 

How did it come to me? Now I am hidden in the safety of your love. I trust your heart and your intentions. Trust you completely. I’m listening intently. You’ll guide me through these many shadows. A lovely song by United Pursuit.

Also, I recently realized that there’s a verse in Compline that says hide me in the shadow of your wings. So yeah, this hiding theme is everywhere, and while I’ve accepted it, I’m not sure what to make of it.

I hope you all had a wonderful New Year’s and I wish you the best that 2023 can give you!

Signing off,

Gigi