After a week of being in class again, I just wanted to update you all on a month and some change – the end of December and some of January. Just some thoughts, not a true life update but just a check in of sorts. I’m currently listening to Epiphany by Taylor Swift. Can I just say that it’s interesting that on January 6th (yes, I’m aware of the events) it was Epiphany Day? And the work epiphany kept coming up for me, It’s not something that usually happens, me latching onto a word but I noticed it.
2021 is here (and has been here) and I have this feeling that I want to dive into rebooting some of my more well loved habits. With reading, I’m being careful to track my reading on Goodreads and it makes me feel so accomplished. I wish there was an app to track anything – how consistent I am with skincare, with going to bed by 11, all of the things. Maybe I’d actually be a lot more responsible and consistent.
I’ve been taking a class called Sound Production and Storytelling, and man, editing 4 hours of interviews is a LONG PROCESS. I do not envy anyone who has to do that daily (unless they enjoy it).
I’ve been working towards a goal for six months, and it fell through. And the end of 2020 sort of has that same vibe. We all had high hopes, like Panic at the Disco, only to find out that our disco was 10 months in quarantine. Yikes!
There is no way to tell what won’t work and what will. Our goals and aspirations need time and sometimes it’s not the right time. Apparently 2020 was not the year to be making life changing goals. But enough! I just wanted to say that it’s not required to make goals this year because you might still be processing the last. The ramifications of what we have been going through, that’s not going away overnight, even with vaccines.
So the downfall of my dream is teaching me that I need to move in a new direction. That pursuing avenues fated to fail will keep me lingering in darkness. Sometimes we too forget that there is a month and some change. What I mean to say is that with the passing of time, the old must pass away to create space for something new.
We cling so desperately for the past, for a world that the pandemic did not ravage, but there’s not our world any longer and we can’t stay there. We can only move forward and lean into a change.
That change, for me, looks like diving back into old things I love and exploring new ways to experience the joy in them. I want to tackle journaling in a more precise way, more journaling prompts and creating art in the margins, and spending time reading old entries to listen with my past self – even if I don’t always agree with her.
January is that month. The month where everyone gears up for the gym or they head to the organic produce aisle in the grocery store or they start their days meditating. And some people find this laughable. They find that the people who want to create some sort of change, that they’re not worth being taken seriously. Well, if that’s the case, when? When should everyone gear up for the gym, or head to the grocery store, or meditate?
As a lover of New Year’s Resolutions, we have all decided on one day to commit to starting over and to progress. Not perfection. Moving slowly doesn’t matter as long as you’re moving in the right direction.
And I’ve been doing okay. I’ve been getting up at 7 (except on Saturdays). I’ve been super consistent with my quiet time/prayer and working out 3x a week. I’m still just getting better with intentional rest. Like placing a specific hour to watch TV and listen to podcasts on certain days. I definitely need some sort of tracker for my skincare.
Last year was hard and adjusting expectations for 2021 hasn’t been the easiest thing. But I want to remain hopeful. I don’t want to live waiting for life to get better. I want to find the things that bring joy here and now and do those things. Because as time goes on, and politics come into play, and we continue to grind away, it’ll be up to us to do our best to not wish this time away.
There is something in this strange season, this weird time that we’re meant to learn. With a month and some change.
As I prepare to return to school in a few weeks, I am taking stock of all that I’ll miss – baking, hugging my parents, my TV, my collection of books, and more. But there are things I’m looking forward to – my routine, the outdoors of Virginia, my job(!), seeing friends socially distanced, going on walks (and feeling safe because it’s less crowded), the mostly blue skies, and my cozy dorm room.
2020 taught us that there are things to let go of and things to hold onto. And we can’t choose them. We can only allow what life has given us and taken away. It’s not up to us what happens next. But it’s how we respond that’ll determine who we are.
Hope you friends are staying safe and healthy!! Comment down below on a month and some change!!!