The very special part of new years are resolutions. But this year, I’ve decided to set aside the resolutions in favor of some intentions. I LOVE resolutions and goal-setting, but I want 2022 to build in me some foundational habits that I want to carry forth in my life. I’ve been introduced through various books and podcasts to this idea of a Rule of Life. It’s a set of standards by which you are using to measure your life against.
Maybe summer is a weird season for a college student, but I’m sort of in this journey of uncertainty. As a college senior in the midst of a pandemic, I am excited, confused and slightly terrified for what lies ahead. For a second there, the pandemic seemed to be turning a corner. But given the way the tides have turned, I’m starting to regret my optimism. I’m confused as to what I should expect a few weeks from now when I start classes again. I’m even more uncertain about what I expect in less than a year from now - when I graduate.
For the first time in a long time, I’ve been struggling with what to say. It’s not so much that I have nothing to say but that I have no aim. Usually there’s a topic floating around my brain that I just want to share, so I do. But this time, I feel like I’m at a loss for words. Maybe it’s because there’s so much I want to share. Or that the world keeps changing so quickly that my brain hasn’t quite processed fully.
The uncertainty of this time feels scary and out of control.
*cue thunderstorms in the background*
I’m not trying to be dramatic, but especially since the world’s gone upside down, it’s so hard to make any decisions. I keep checking my email, waiting for something to change. Waiting for news that’s supposed to come.