Love is everywhere.
It’s in the embrace of friends, it’s in the first moment of holding hands, it’s in mother’s kiss to her son’s cheek. It’s been in the air before Valentine’s day and it won’t stop after. Love and the potential of love is such a beautiful thing to be aware of. Love comes in all forms friendships, romantic entanglements, familial relationships, they’re all variations of the care, support, and affection we all desire.
We can rag on the movies for making love seem so easy, too accessible, too perfect, but would we even want the versions of the loves we have now. I don’t think it would make good tv – the small fights, the pining, the days where we’re just cranky and not fun to be around.
The movies elevate this person – they’re perfect in every way. They like the music you like, they send you chocolate or flowers, they laugh at all of your jokes, you laugh at all of theirs, your lives and theirs seem to converge so perfectly, it feels like forever.
On screen, we get two people who get along or who fiercely hate each other, but their attraction grows, because of or in spite of their feelings, and they seem to go into happily ever after. There’s always some sort of moment where everything clicks and they realize that they’re in love.
In real life, things are messy.
They love your favorite band but hate your favorite song. They can belt out tunes in the car but can’t get down on the dance floor. They clean but lose their keys in the morning. They always give you chocolate but never take their medicine. The people we love aren’t perfect. And the things we wished they would change they don’t. Not to mention, most of the time, real love isn’t an everyday, walk-in-my-life occurrence.
The movies make it seem like once you stop looking for that special someone and allow things to fall into place, you’ll find that person. They’ll just walk into your life right on time – just as ready as you are to fall in love. Honestly, I can’t tell you what works, but so many people are trying dating apps and going about their lives and love hasn’t found them yet, at least not in the way they want it too.
Even though the movies are unrealistic, isn’t it nice to see love played out? Yes, there are plenty of movies with scripts and scenes that objectify women and movies with the “you complete me” mentality. We shouldn’t want to see movies with those messages in any form at all. Love played out on screen helps you acknowledge the beauty of appreciating someone else for all that they are and all that they bring to the table.
Part of me wants to say yes to seeing ourselves on screen. It wants to say that the imperfections, the reality of it all makes it more special. If I choose to love in spite of all imperfections, that I choose someone – whether it be my best friend or my crush over and over again, there’s some sort of hope. That after all the crankiness, the way we hold hands would be something we strived for. There is something hidden in the gunk. Love isn’t always visible. But it is always present.
People want love – and it shows up in all ways around them.
I want there to be a space for all forms of love in my life – laughter with friends at 1 in the morning, the hug shared by a mom and daughter after watching a movie together on the couch, the rub of a furry friend’s back. All types of love are valid and deserve to be celebrated.
So where do we find love?
Take a walk outside in your neighborhood. Look around you and take note of what you see.
How does love show up around you?
I know it’s a little late but Happy Valentine’s Day! Cherish what love you have in your life no matter what form it takes.