It’s spring break for UVA students, and I’ve been spending it by volunteering at middle schools, tutoring kids. It’s the middle of the semester – spring 2020. Feelings – it’s all going by so quickly.
My time here at UVA – I’ve never quite felt settled. I’ve been happy, I’ve been sad, I’ve been lonely, I’ve been stressed, I’ve been surrounded in community. Every semester feels different. New classes, new friends, new relationships to build upon. I’m just trying to enjoy it as it goes by. My own ideas of things should go have been passed by for life actually has in store for me.
This year has been such a surprising but already glorious year for music – Petals for Armor (Hayley Williams’s solo music), Jeremy Camp’s newest album, In and Out of Love by Oh Wonder, So Far So Good by Gabrielle Aplin, On a High Ledge by Boston Manor, etc. Petals for Armor will have a new album by May 8th, and I definitely anticipate some more albums coming in the summer and the fall.
I definitely love my classes this semester than any semester before. My favorite classes are a philosophy of religion class, a news media class, and a podcasting class.
The philosophy class was more argument based than I thought it was going to be, but the professor is incredible at 9am, and I just really enjoy it.
My news media class is timely and I feel like I have been able to dive more about why I feel like news can feel partisan as well as searching for sources that are objective and tell more than one side of the story.
My podcasting class is the most hands-on and I really enjoy it. I get to talk to my friends about things like music, questions they have about life, anything that my podcasting class requires. I have been able to learn about audio storytelling and the awesome medium of podcasts as a creator versus a listener.
I love my family, but I do get why I needed to get away and create some space between my family members and I. My parents have very specific things they desire for me and it’s great that they have high expectations.
It’s just that the pressure of high expectations can come back and be haunting. I want to be a good daughter but I also need to honor my own desire of my path in life and what I believe to be a good thing.
In terms of my siblings, in some sense, there’s so much I want to do that I have to limit myself. My other siblings can be more on the other side, it’s hard for them to even think of something they can do. It just feeds into our differences and I just feel like the separation – even with differences in personalities – is actually a blessing in disguise.
Friendships have been interesting. It’s easy to get in touch with people and check in on people’s lives but it’s harder to stay in touch. The important thing is making friends and other people in my life a priority as much as my classes and club meetings are.
You need to invest in the people around you and your relationship with them in order to see growth. I feel seen and heard when I spend time in community with others and that’s when I feel most myself and at home.
This semester, I’ve tried to spent intentional time with other people to really work on growing on being open and more. Plenty has changed. I’ve met a lot of amazing first years and I’ve just been trying to bond with a lot of people. I don’t feel as steady as I hope to feel. It’s been one week of absolute bliss and the next feels super full, and the next feels super empty.
This time of spring break has been great to replenish my soul and try to figure out what it is that I’m feeling and why. I really want to take big steps this year to challenge myself to get in touch with my emotions, and to go beyond that and make a change that works out for the better.
I traveled to Indiana this year – so a new state crossed off the 50 that I want to see and cross of my bucket list. I traveled to Goshen, Virginia for a weekend away. I’m going away to Lake Anna in a few weeks, and I’m excited. It’s been great to be in the same place for a little bit and not move for spring break, but I definitely could have gone home. Being in Charlottesville is way more fun.
- Friends = all is well, but still working on it
- Faith = struggling a little bit in terms of a consistent quiet time, but starting to go to a consistent, present new small group again
- Finances = budgeting is hard, but I have a small but wonderful income
Songs that I have to recommend
Incredible cover about a girl who felt neglected by her parents and tried to commit suicide.
Honestly felt this a few days back – a day that was full of joy and light and love.
My favorite love song right now. Sweet and straight to the heart.
A song about the realities of the world. It hurts sometimes.
A song of hope with lots of colorful songwriting by Alison Sudol.
I’m not sure how much this life update helped you. Maybe you started to reflect in the categories of your life – friends, family, emotional health, etc. Maybe you found a new song that you liked. Maybe you found out you hate my music taste and from here on out, will boycott all songs I try to include. Maybe you’re interested in listening to a potential podcast. Maybe you’d prefer me speaking on a podcast rather than reading my blog. I hope that you are well and I hope that you know you are loved.
UPDATE: My university has canceled in person classes and transferred classes online. Going to be in route to a high risk area. Prayers welcomed.
Send me a life update. My Twitter is @lolgen792. My email is firstname.lastname@example.org.