April 19, 2o22
This Tuesday in my life is an ordinary one, and yet, that’s what I’ll remember. What’ll stay with me will be the ordinary moments I paid attention to. Ultimately, that’s what truly matters.
I woke up later than I usually would. This last stretch of the semester has me exhausted and just not getting as much sleep as I should. But the good news is that after this week (hopefully!) I can rest some more-being fully done with my thesis, done with my last exam, and having completed at least one major paper. I’m currently juggling 3 papers, and it’s the roughest paper season I’ve ever had in my college years.
Related Post: 12 thoughts: from pain to abundance
The weather has been so weird lately. It’s late April, but in Virginia, it’s apparently the perfect time for some hail and sleet every few random hours.
I got a haircut. And I’m still on the fence about it. People keep complimenting it, but I’m not so sure. It’s not the biggest deal in the world, but it’s something that has consumed some of my mental energy, and it’s good to take note of that.
Instead of studying for my exam (I had totally forgotten about that LOL at this point of the day), I started reading My Bright Abyss by Christian Wiman. My nonfiction creative writing professor recommended him, and his work is so great. He’s writing about coming to faith at a pivotal point in his life. He’s received a cancer diagnosis. He’s falling in love. Some of his words are just marvelous.
“If you believe at fifty what you believed at fifteen, then you have not lived—or have denied the reality of your life.”
“If God is a salve applied to unbearable psychic wounds, or a dream figure conjured out of memory and mortal terror,…then I have to admit: it is not working for me.”
“For if grace woke me to God’s presence in the world and in my heart, it also woke me to his absence. I never truly felt the pain of unbelief until I began to believe.”
Related Post: A reflection guide for your weekend
I haven’t written a quote series post in a long time, and so maybe I’ll write about one of his quotes. But if you’re interested in a meditation on faith, I’d highly recommend his work.
I was walking to get lunch at 12:27 and I stopped to grab this photo.
On the other side of the construction, there are these beautiful flowers. And they’re blooming. But it sucks. It sucks because all of the construction was in the way. There are places in our lives that are blooming but it’s so hard to see because there’s (meaningless) construction in the way. (I want to say that this construction has been going on for maybe 9 months to a year.)
All I want to do is get close to the blooms and write on the chalkboard I first saw 4 years ago. But the construction is in the way.
Related Post: the age of milestones, or not.
Lately, I feel like I’m getting saint stalked by Simone Weil. I’m kidding. If you believe in Catholicism, or have a deeper knowledge of it, you know that a saint stalk is when you see a saint’s name come up everywhere in all sorts of forms. And Ms. Simone Weil has been popping up for me in all sorts of places. Usually, I’m looking for her, but this time she found me.
I joined Grace’s Tuesday letters. I was looking for a glimpse of joy, and was slightly surprised to see this talk on abundance and scarcity, which I wrote a little bit about in my last post. I am trying to pay more attention to when words keep repeating themselves to me, and this was one of them.
For intern dinner, our last normal one, I helped in making some tortellini pasta. It had A LOT of pepper but it was a good time. We’ve been reading Liturgy of the Ordinary by Tish Harrison Warren, and the last chapter was on sleep. I don’t have a hard time getting to sleep, but I have a hard time getting sleep. Currently, I’m writing this post at 1:11 in the morning. So yeah, clearly I need to work on work-life balance post-grad.
After intern dinner, I booted over to the last Transition Series session for fourth years. We’ve been discussing feelings around transition and what to expect, and some alums came and spoke about their experience.
Things I took away from an ordinary day-
- Post-grad is an adjustment and that’s okay.
- It’s going to be good, it just takes some time.
- Set boundaries with work. There’s no reason to spend hours doing something that takes 20 minutes.
- Friendships will change. They require more investment in the long haul.
- There is less change in the day to day unlike college, and so time moves differently.
- Give yourself space to explore what’s next as opposed to jumping into something.
- It will take you at least a year until you feel anything near settled.
- Nourishing your relationship with God is so key in a chaotic time.
After that, some of the crew headed to BJ’s. And after I had just made this decision, I regretted it. I was worried about homework, and the guy I liked paid absolutely no attention to me (LOL at self), but it was good. I talked to some cool dudes who cracked me up at every turn, and it was sweet.
(Side note: I legitimately had a dream that this man was ignoring me *shakes head*)
Note to self: it hits different to sing Last Time by TSwift in a man’s car. Especially if you like him. ‘Nough said.
I then came home to study for my exam on Thursday. Added onto my how to: let go playlist (yes, for this dang boy).
Let me leave you with some song recommendations (the not-ordinary kind):
- Bleed by Anna Nalick – such a fun ~vibe~
- Way Way Back by Aly & AJ – a heartbreaker
- Cranes in the Sky by Solange Knowles – just listen to it!
- Paralysed by The Staves – hauntingly beautiful
- Fierce Surrender by Jeremy Camp – a new favorite of his for me
I hope your day has you pondering wonderful musings and bringing surprising truths to the surface. I hope you have the courage to face your fears. I hope your ordinary day is full of beauty. Thanks for being here, gentle reader.
Tell me about your ordinary day. I loved to hear from you <3