I am lying down on my bed, typing this out. I have only just recently entered into my summer vacation, and after a year of school, all the hard questions have sort of come out of me. In the midst of the homework assignments, late nights, and club meetings to attend, I haven’t had time to really assess how I’m doing, the state of my being. This is an invitation for you to do the same.
So, what is the state of my soul?
Am I restful or restless? Am I full of energy or drained? Am I excited to be alive or dreading another day?
This question about the state of my soul is a way to understand the current season I’m in. Lately, I’ve been putting in so much effort in things, and I haven’t seen the fruit of my labor. It was hard to go through, but now I get to ask myself whether or not I actually enjoyed what I was doing, and why I was doing it.
With school, often times I don’t enjoy it. And as someone who has always done well in school, it’s hard to wrestle with. I do like learning and acquiring knowledge, I believe that learning makes us all better humans. But sometimes, knowledge can feel useless if it’s not being acquired for a purpose. School is like a rat race – you’re in it, so you do the best you can – but never in the midst of it, do you ask yourself “Why am I doing this?”
My soul feels eager for rest – to lie outside in the sun with a book, to isolate myself after a year of being surrounded by others, to get in touch with all of my favorite hobbies again, to try new things and see where that takes me.
What is the state of your soul?
Are you overwhelmed? Is your brain filled to the brim with expectations and tasks that need to be done right now? Do you just need a minute to breathe?
Acknowledge it. Whether you are working a full time job or you’ve finished up school for the year, understand how you are moving through life. Because it informs you of the moves you should be making.
Maybe you need to slow down. You may need to go do things that resonate with you. To stop and smell the roses. Maybe you are consumed by comparison. You may need to unplug from the internet, and ground yourself in reality. Maybe you are lonely. You may feel the desire to call someone you love, to hear their voice say “Hello.”
Maybe you are okay. Linger in that feeling. That for once, everything is alright.
What moves is your soul making? How do you really feel right now?