Happy Wednesday, friends! Hope it has not been raining consecutively for 5 weekends straight where you are. Maybe the sun hasn’t been hiding its face for you. At least, I hope not.
While I’ve had a few blogs be more about my life, my favorite blog posts to write are all about my thoughts. This is me, on a page, just scribbling out what my mind has been lingering on. I consider it an honor to get to share with you and that you’d want to listen.
So here are some notes I’ve been saving on my notes app~
“What’s most real for you? Is it the outer world of relationships or your inner world of ideas, passions, and desires?”
On Sunday, I listened to the final episode of the solitude season of Practicing the Way. Emily P. Freeman was the podcast guest. I’ve mentioned her on the blog before. She has been such a helpful guide in the world of decisionmaking and she has the best podcast voice I’ve ever heard.
This quote is talking about a different framing around introversion and extroversion. It’s hard to figure out what we tend towards because we all have time to be alone and time to be around people. But Bryan Rouanzoin said this idea, and I took a breath because wow, it is extraordinary. While I love time around people and feel really fulfilled after spending time with those I love, I feel like what’s most real to me is what’s in my head. My ideas are how I filter the world. They are what I gravitate towards, and so, many around me wouldn’t call me introverted, I feel my real self in solitude and being alone before God. What a revolutionary perspective shift on introversion and extroversion!
There’s something quite special about someone whose smile makes you smile or whose laughter makes you laugh. It makes delight and joy easy to find.
I went to an Episcopal Church on Sunday in the Bronx. Part for reporting, part for my own pleasure. The lines can blur, and I’m not sure that’s a good thing, but this church was lovely. Old, historic. A little girl was running around as kids do. There was this man whose name I unfortunately never got but he just smiled and it just made you want to smile too. And when he laughed, it stirred everyone else to laugh. That head thrown back kind of laugh.
It doesn’t have to be at church or someone you know super well, but there’s something to finding people where the delight just comes easy. And then clinging to those people for dear life.
Related Post: 12 thoughts on abundance and pain
I want to stay close to you, it’s really that simple
One morning I woke up with this lyric from This Close by Steffany Gretzinger on my mind. While I was on the train, I had this thought “what if this lyrics was from God to me?” And it shifted my perspective.
What a gift! What a truth! All the Father desires is our presence and attention. He just wants our love. It is really that simple.
Peace is not certainty. Peace is being okay with the mystery of allowing life to unfold however it wants to.
Two years ago or so, I was talking to Paul Granger about peace, and what it really means. This semester of grad school has me questioning my abilities and my desires. Is this what I want to do? Do I really even enjoy it? Is this worth it? Part of the reason grad school has been so frustrating is the loss of control. One moment you’re in class thinking you’re going to have an average day, and the next thing you know you’re on a train to a community board meeting two hours from your house at 7pm at night.
I always thought that peace was about when everything is right, when life aligns itself perfectly. Now I am coming to believe real peace is when you allow life to go how it’s going to go and you remain unmoved emotionally. It doesn’t send you into chaos if your plan doesn’t work out. You already have the space in your mind and body to conceive of the fact that you will be okay, even if things don’t go your way.
What aspect of Jesus is illuminated in your life?
Sometime in September I started going to midday prayer at the local Episcopal church near Columbia. On St. Francis’ feast day, the priest was giving a short homily and explaining the tradition of honoring saints in the Church. He said that saints reflect a characteristic of Jesus to us. And then he posed the question that I’ve been lingering on: what aspect of Jesus is illuminated in your life?
I’ve been chewing on this question and I don’t have an answer. My friend Chlöe said it’s the way I make space for other people’s stories and am always interested in learning more about them. Maybe it’s just my nosiness. Maybe I’m just trying to figure out if anybody has the secret to how we get through this life.
Related Post: thoughts from my notes app
The kindness of God follows you around like butterflies.
I’m not one of those people who wakes up feeling God every second of every day. But ever since I’ve read the Mitford series, I’ve been seeing God in butterflies. They’re everywhere. People’s tattoos on the train, in stained glass, on clothing, people’s jewelry. It’s a sign of his love to me. It’s part see-how-I-love-you and it’s part hey-remember-me. It’s a sweet gift to receive.
If I wait to understand to obey, it might be too late.
Sometimes obedience comes before we ever understand. There are definitely times where I’ve had to act in faith, not knowing what the outcome will be. But if we wait every single time for an explanation, it might be too late to obey and we might find ourselves stuck with the consequences of our indecision.
And on that note, I leave you! Let me know your thoughts and how you’ve been thinking lately!
Signing off,
Gigi
Studying Life with Gigi 
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