what i’ve learned in 2023 + 2023 Highlights

It’s that time of the year, a time to assess the year that has gone by. The lessons we learned, the trips we went on, the moments we enjoyed (or didn’t). 2023 was a strange year for me. I started off the year still job hunting, but my heart wasn’t in it anymore, and now I’m ending the year with my first semester of grad school completed. It has been a jarring year, the two halves look nothing like one another, and it’s been full of the unexpected.

Here are a few things I learned this year. I hope it gives you some comfort or wisdom, whichever you need.

If anything captures my year, it’s this quote from Drew Brown (whose Substack I found because of Lore Wilbert, who gives the best recommendations!!!!):

I’m learning how to receive my life from God rather than build it on my own.

Lessons learned in 2023

Being behind isn’t a death sentence 

I know that we don’t like to say that people are behind, and it’s some way that’s true: everyone is moving at their own pace. But I definitely had the sense that people’s lives were coming together post-grad and mine wasn’t. And that was true too. I knew so many people who had moved, gotten married, started new jobs, and my life looked absolutely nothing like that. So when you feel like you’re behind, it’s something to pay attention to.

Related Post: A New Season

Rest even when it’s inconvenient 

Sleep was such an issue for me at the start of the year. I just couldn’t sleep deeply anymore and would have my sleep interrupted when I did finally wake up, I felt groggy. Sleep is such a luxury, but despite being in grad school, I’ve gone to bed. At some point, the work will have to wait for tomorrow. The work always gets done but I deserve to take care of my body. Make rest a priority. You won’t regret it.

Fear has been my default for way too long

Emily P. Freeman first brought the concept to my mind–this idea of choices between love and fear. Fear has been my default for a really long time, and there were so many moments this year where I was confronted with that. There are things I’d love to do, but I’m afraid to start doing them–afraid of the cost or afraid of the public opinion. I’m not sure how to move towards a new default, since I’ve operated in this way for so long, but I want to be more trusting. Both of God and myself. That even if I fail, I’ll be okay. That even if the worst comes, I’ll survive it.

Peace is not certainty

In the Christian world, there’s much talk about making decisions off of peace. But in reality, peace transcends feeling. In 2022, in Richmond, I talked to Paul Granger about peace, but this year, I was confronted by the reality that peace is at its core an acceptance. Peace is not certainty. It’s being okay with the mystery of allowing life to unfold however it wants to. It’s an open-handedness. If you cling too hard to your own desires, you will not become settled in a future that refuses to match those desires. Let life unfold. I’m not sure how to have that steady sense of peace, but it’s something I long for.

Related Post: justice in Richmond: spring break edition

Prophecy is really really cool

I don’t usually get so Jesus-y on here, but I’ve had a lot of interesting moments this year—dreams and people’s prayers and my own prayer time. My relationship with God over the last year (including the end of 2022) has become closer to what I first dreamed it could be when I first began walking with God. Jesus really is worthy, and the Asbury Revival was a reminder of that. Jesus really is kind (even if it’s a kindness I don’t fully understand). He’s kind enough to whisper to my heart and remind me He’s never left. P.S. God answers prayer. Like when he answered my prayer for Christian friends in grad school – and I met most of them my first week there. 

Small delights are never really small

This year I got to visit Karen twice and I blogged about it both times!!! Trying new coffee shops with Kate in NYC. Finally seeing my favorite band Paramore about years of singing along to all the good songs. Seeing friends in Culpeper for Chloe’s wedding. Trying new loose leaf teas. Collecting all my requested books from the library and it feeling like Christmas. Opening a new book in the Mitford series and feeling at home. The small delights are only “small” because they don’t seem as big or applaudable as graduating and getting engaged or moving, but for me, they get me out of bed and that’s why they’re not small at all.

Related Post: a story on friendship: a trip to New Haven

2023 Highlights

• Going to Tom’s with college friends and then going to school a few blocks away
• Hosting Karen in NYC
• Visiting New Haven in the winter AND the spring
• Culpeper for Chloe’s wedding – and seeing other dear friends
• All the dang closed doors – the meme down below
• Saw Paramore this year – a lifelong goal
• My sleep got so so much better
• Went to Pennsylvania and Michigan
• Watched all Harry Potter movies this fall
• Finished my first 1,000+ page book
• Started grad school and finished my first semester
• Finished my fellowship program
• Found a new Christian community at the Episcopal Cathedral near Columbia
• Listened to so much good music: Pvris, The Maine, Mat Kerekes, Torchbearers!
• Made new friends that made me laugh and shared their hearts with me

Something I loved that I heard on the How To Eat an Elephant podcast is “There’s the most hope for a character when there’s the least hope,” and that was worth writing down. The beginning of this year felt a little hopeless, but there’s a light and here’s to hoping there’s more to come.

Signing off,

Gigi