discipline or delight

Hello, gentle readers! I hope the start of the year has been kind to you. I hope you have been easing into your days, staying as warm and cozy as possible in these wintry days. Now that we’re really getting into new year, I need to get really into job hunting. Unfortunately, it doesn’t appeal to me very much. The idea of applying to jobs and enduring rejection after rejection is not very fun. Hence, why I’m writing this blog post instead!

Last year after the end of my surprisingly relaxed but still formative internship in journalism, I decided to take a respite. A whole year of grad school in journalism grew me a lot–forced me to discipline myself and get my butt out the door to meet people and make phone calls and make myself physically uncomfortable to get the job done–skills I needed. But I’ve fallen too far off the path.

Related Post: Why Not Me?: A Guide to Make Progress on Your Dreams

Though I’ve watched a lot of TV shows (still trying to get into Lost) and have knitted a decent bit of a sweater, I haven’t actually made much progress on the goals that I said that I would have. The message that I need to internalize is that life is hard, and that I often make it harder by prolonging that which I do not want to do. The thing is applying to jobs will get me a full time job, which will grant me sufficient income to work towards my loans and save money. I’d actually have a routined life in which I could set aside money to take weekend trips and fund my knitting hobby. The thing that I’m avoiding is the path to something I desire. I’m blocking my own progress as I refuse to submit to discipline. (This principle also applies to your spiritual life too.)

But maybe you’re not like me. Maybe you spent the last year hustling hard, month and month. Stress became your way of being. The daily grind you internalized actually did your mind and your body harm. These past few weeks of holiday really showed you that something needs to change. That you need to be gentle with yourself. Slower mornings with a cup of tea, instead of rushing out the door. Instead of late nights finishing assignments with the blue light of your laptop, you need to shut it down completely. You need to linger under cozy sheets until you see the sun rise and the dark world returns to color again.

The thing about the New Year is that there is no one size fits all message. We all need to hear something different. You may need to get off your phone and nurture hobbies. Or get grinding away at job hunting for a more secure future. Perhaps it’s time to open your Bible again. Or for the first time, because you feel called to something more. Maybe you need to spend more time with your family. Or maybe you’ve neglected your home and you need to get back into the daily activities of stewarding a home you love.

Our days are meant to be lived intentionally, purposefully. Which means we need to hear the right message to know our next step.

Related Post: the promises we keep (or not)

Back to me. I need to just start. I’ve been waking up with “NO EXCUSES” on my mind. As much as I get caught up in the feelings of I don’t want to do this, I know I can push past it to actually doing the thing that needs to get done. It’s so easy to validate your feelings and forget that they don’t actually speak to what you need to hear.

Some days I just need to do it tired. Do it afraid. Do it because it needs to get done and ultimately, it’s better for me if I act. If I apply to that job. Or pick up those dumbbells. If I pick up the phone to call a friend.

The path to the things that we most desire is often through struggle. A healthy body is through the months of getting up and getting moving. A job I desire is by wading through job descriptions, writing cover letters and tailoring my resume. Learning a new language is through the discomfort of not understanding and yet continually exposing myself to new words. A 1,000 page book is only read by turning off the television and reading the words on each page one at a time.

Ironically, to get to our delight, we need to be disciplined. Saying no to what is easy but ultimately doesn’t serve us and doing the hard thing moment by moment. 

Even if you have fallen off on some of your goals like me, it’s trying again that will get you closer to where you want to be.

Signing off, 

Gigi