advice from the beautiful anonymous podcast

Hello gentle readers! I hope April is treating you kindly, even if the weather is a bit rainy at the moment.

I’ve recently returned to a beloved podcast, Beautiful Anonymous. I would listen to it on bus and train rides to college and traveling, and it’s just such a special piece of art and community that feels sweet to return to. The official title is Beautiful Stories from Anonymous People. The podcast theme by Shellshag is a classic and it’s a real gift all around.

Over the years, I’ve collected pieces of advice from listening to strangers tell Chris Gethard their joys, their struggles, their hopes and dreams. I want to share that here with you!

Related Post: What I’ve Learned From Podcasts – Edition 2

Theory of the 15 year old self

Episode: Moving to Another Country

One caller had the theory that our 15 year old self is our forever self. That we mask it and ignore it but the truth of the matter is that our 15 year self is the heart of who we are. I think this is an interesting theory, and for me, I feel that it’s true. Some days, I feel like I’m forever 16–I love the same bands, I have the same dreams (living abroad and traveling), being a total bookworm. In a lot of ways, I struggle with the same things. Even if you don’t agree with this theory, it causes you to slow down and think.

My partner is not my therapist

Episode: Clinical Psychologist

Sometimes it’s easy to offload problems or troubles onto those around us because they’re great listeners or creative at problem solving or even because talking to them sets you at ease. But the truth is some issues, especially mental health issues, are best in the hands of a licensed therapist. Therapists are trained to help you bear the burden and lighten the load, while a friend or partner isn’t.

Moving on vs Moving with

Episode: Widower Remarried

I love this episode. It’s sobering and tender and might bring up some emotion in you. It probably is one of my top ten episodes in the show for me. We hear again and again and again about this idea of moving on, but the truth is moving on, especially with grief, doesn’t always exist. Some things in life are so bad that we don’t move on. Instead of leaving behind the pain, sometimes that pain becomes a part of us and it shapes the way we move through the world. We begin to move with that pain, not letting it overwhelm us, but letting us be more compassionate to others.

Highly recommend this episode!

Related Post: COVID: five years later

Get okay with existing with problems

Episode: Dating During COVID

Chris says this line in this episode, “For me, my life has always improved not when I solved my problems but when I get okay co-existing with them.” And I feel this. We so often try again and again to “solve” problems but we end up running ourselves ragged. (This does not mean serious health issues, physical or otherwise, or toxic situations.) For example, wanting a perfect home with your ideal specifications. A way to coexist is to love the home you’re in and decorate it in your ideal style. Instead of trying desperately to lose weight, embrace your body and eat foods that nourish you and give you energy, while also allowing yourself a treat every once in a while.

Emotions are not rational

Episode: Moving to Another Country

This is another lesson from an earlier referenced episode. The caller, a teacher, was talking about how kids emote and how we too forget that our emotions rise to the surface and it isn’t always clear where they spring from and why. Addressing emotions from a place of rationality instead of compassion can be really damaging to our own self esteem and relationships. Emotions are telling you something, even if they aren’t always factual.

Drugs can really ruin lives

Episode: Prison Bound

The caller in this episode is really courageous for taking accountability of her actions, and this show definitely has callers who have had addiction or substance abuse in their lives. Often (but not always) it springs from the environment and poor mental health. The caller gives the advice of addressing mental health instead of hiding from the emotional wounds that can lead to destructive behavior.

Related Post: my current obsessions

Forgiveness lifts the weight off of you 

Episode: My Girlfriend cheated, I Got a Dog

This one is both lighthearted and funny and serious at times. Even if what someone has done is unforgivable, forgive them. Not for them, but for you. When you forgive someone, a physical weight lifts off of you. They no longer occupy your thoughts and you are free!

If you’re interested, I have a list of my favorite episodes below!

• The Squirrel and The Giraffe (still my favorite episode!!!)
• Love is Everywhere (a B/A classic)
• The King of Silver Linings
• RINO
• Widower Remarried
• My Son is Deaf
• Ron Paul’s Baby (another classic)
• Love at First [blank]
• A Black Woman in America
• Used to be a Monk

Beautiful Anonymous has been such an integral part of my life. It’s the number one podcast I recommend to people solely because it reminds me of the good of humanity. 

If you’re ever on a long train ride, maybe put in some earbuds and listen to Beautiful Anonymous!

Signing off,

Gigi