what they don’t tell you about adulthood

Adulthood can feel like a whirlwind of new information, exciting and overwhelming at the same time. I’m a few years into it, and I’ve learned a few things (at least I hope). 

It’ll take years for things to pan out in the ways you think

A little more than a decade after its notoriety, Girls (starring Lena Dunham) does a good job of portraying this reality. It shows the brutal reality of trying to figure out what you’re doing and where you’re headed in your twenties. Confusion, frustration, and a lack of clarity is all part of the process. And that’s not something they hand you on the back of your college brochure. It takes time for things to get good (and even when they’re good, you’re still waiting on more). Don’t stress out about how long it’s taking. Things in life just take their time in coming to you.

Weddings are coming up (and they cost a ton)

Whether you’re in your early twenties or a little older, the wave of weddings will come. It’s just a fact of life. They will somehow all come a bundle at a time. It’s so sweet to see your dear ones celebrate their special days, but you may want to factor it into your budget. Particularly if you have to travel far to be there for the festivities. Weddings can be wonderful (seeing old friends) and overwhelming (contending with all the milestones you have yet to experience). Make room for all the feelings. They matter.

Related Post: the age of milestones, or not.

Prioritize saving for your retirement

This point makes me feel slightly ashamed. As for the last 3 years, I’ve sat on this information and yet did not make a move towards it. This year I finally made an investment account! If you do anything, if you take anything away, google compound interest and open your own account to invest in. Invest in your future!

Job hunting can be crushing

This may be the area in which I feel cursed. Job hunting is not fun and quite frankly, I think things have worsened since I started hunting in 2022. I have a few regrets and I am trying my best to square those out with the Lord. Take breaks as needed. Network just as much as you job hunt. I have yet to see networking pay off, but there’s something so awful about just sending job applications out into the void and waiting to hear back. Most days, you never do. I’ve even interviewed and never heard back. It’s brutal and it’s a brutal time economically. Be open but also don’t settle for the bare minimum.

Everyone (and their mother) is in a different stage of life

Some are having their first kid, some (like myself) are eager to move out to a new city. This feeling of once relating because you were all in the same stage of life together, then separating feels so disorienting. The lack of relatability can really take a toll on friendships. Focus on contentment. You can’t change your season, but you can find ways to be grateful for what you do have. Give people grace when they seem to be preoccupied by things that really don’t relate to you and find some friends who understand. They’ll make you feel normal again.

Related Post: what i’ve learned in 2025 so far…

Everything requires effort

From finding a new job to making new friends to building a solid community to going on dates, there’s just no such thing as coasting. Life isn’t handed to you. It requires effort. Which means sometimes you have to do what you don’t want to do in the moment to get you where you know you want to go. Working on when you’d rather be on the couch. At a coffee date with a new friend because you’re trying to build solid friendships for your future. I will say this – it does require effort but that effort makes room for grace – those special moments where things come easy and are just handed to you. That is to say, your effort isn’t in vain. Keep going!

Adulthood can come with a lot of different feelings. You’re not failing if life is taking a little bit longer to coalesce. The road is actually long, and you’re just starting. And if you’ve made a wrong turn, you can always turn around again 😊

What are your lessons from adulthood? Share them below!

Signing off,

Gigi