12 thoughts: from sermons to spring vol. 2

Gentle readers, I hope you are well! April feels like a mixed bag. Dreary rainy days with moments of joy scattered at surprising turns. I, for one, am glad the world is starting to bloom. When it’s dark and cold, you almost forget that spring comes, and then it does, and your heart swells with gratitude. 

This week, though I had a different piece in mind, I decided to let that piece percolate a bit more, and bring you a more rambly version of myself. I hope this post gives you ideas to ponder, perhaps with a cup of tea or a sweet pastry.

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001. I have a lot of notes from Reunion Hawaii sermons. Though I’ve been going to a church within walking distance on Sunday mornings, I do like tuning in to Reunion sermons. My Notes app is filled with quotes and calls to faith. I’ll share a few here.

• Miracles don’t always come in manna but in the loaves and fishes you already have.
• If God gives you a promise, you don’t have to grasp it. It’s not up to you to make it happen.
• His Presence is more important than answers.

002. I prayed and I read my blog and I finally understand (at least a tiny piece) of why my word of the year is home. Earlier this year, I had a dream about being nostalgic. Lately I’ve had lots of flashes of past moments. Parts of my life in Virginia—the path I’d walk to the Study Center, the road we’d take to church, the hill I used as a shortcut to the center of Grounds (campus). It’s weird to make a home somewhere and to leave it behind. I still don’t think I’ve built a home here in New York. Because I’m not sure how long I’ll be here. Life is full of unknowns and to act with uncertainty is tough.

Fun fact: the last few years, my word of the year has begun with the letter h. What a coincidence!

003. I’m an emo girlie for life. Can’t help it. Ever since I was a teenager. I’ve been enjoying the Divine Zero by Pierce the Veil. It’s a heavy song, but sonically, I’m really amazed how incredible it is. If you’re a Christian, Unbreakable by Fireflight is awesome! I really wish there were more female led Christian rock bands. 

004. I’m not even 25 yet, but when I wake, my body aches. Despite years of telling myself I should work out, the achy feeling is the one motivation that gets me working out. I’m still not perfect, but I do move my body now. I’m not interested in having limited mobility when I get older.

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005. I wish I could understand God’s timing for my 20’s. I feel both behind and yet like where I’m at is okay. Part of me can’t wait to be in the future where things are great and I’m finally out of the “I’m not sure what’s going on and why” season, and the other part of me is trying to enjoy this season as it is. I still have more free time than my friends do, and I’m not really tied down anywhere. 

006. Paradise Lost is so good! I finally finished reading it, and I’m amazed at how vivid the poetry is and I’m scared at how often I identified with Satan’s ideas of freedom. This book really brought me back to some theological realities: God is our creator and worthy of worship and Jesus, his Son, is so submitted to the Father’s will. Though the Fall was painful to read, the poem still ends hopefully. Here’s Endeavor’s version of the last few lines of Paradise Lost that was the catalyst for me finally picking it up!

007. Recently, I had a train ride that was too reminiscent of life. What should have taken 10 to 15 minutes took 40. The train took an altogether different path than I expected and lingered at too many subway stops and even stopped between stations. Life these past few years has felt like that. I haven’t arrived where I wanted to be, and I’m still trying to decide if the stops along the way are worth it.

009. Heard this on the Beautiful Anonymous podcast. “Everything in life is either a good thing or a great story.” Episode: Invite Chaos.

010. I am a meal prep girlie. I need a few hours to cook and bake so that the rest of the week isn’t so overwhelming. I actually don’t mind eating the same thing every day. It makes getting out the door for work simple.

011. I stumbled onto the LinkedIn profile of someone I hadn’t seen in a long time. I often wondered how they were doing, and it’s a surreal moment to see them in a small icon on a screen. It felt a bit anticlimatic, and maybe that’s just the truth of the Internet, you never quite get the amount of dopamine you were hoping for.

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012. I am longing for Avonlea. Perhaps it is spring and everything blooming around me, but I long to return to the world L.M. Montgomery gave us, full of sweetness and joy even in the moments of sorrow. I long to curl up with a book and get lost on the path to Rainbow Valley, to hear the gossip of the ladies on the verandah, to close my eyes and envision the sunrises over PEI. 

Everything is made new in the spring. Springs themselves are always so new, too. No spring is ever just like any other spring. It always has something of its own to be its peculiar sweetness.

L.M. Montgomery

Share some of your thoughts with me down below!

Signing off, 

Gigi